Songs from day 1.

Day 1 of 2014. Sitting here with my tablet. Reliant K coming through the headphones singing Who I am Hates Who I've Been. Ain't that the truth. I'm ready to become a model of Christ. Empty Me by Chris Sligh now. That is such a necessity. I need to rid myself of the rottenness that is my flesh. Rid myself of then pride and selfishness. I heard the term wannabe tonight. That is me in a nutshell. I wanna be a leader of men. I want to bring the lost to Christ. I want to die to myself, so that I can live in Christ. I am hoping a book on fear and reading Scripture brings me back to center. Now Sweetly Broken. I am broken. I have been broken by the hands of The Great Artist. I am ready to be put back together, but not like as I was before. I would like the cracks to be visible, but I would also like the others to see what God has made. The New Creation that is Mark Rodela. Need You Now by Plumb. I need Him so bad right now. "I want to believe there's meaning here.". "Wondering how I got to where I am. Trying to hear that still small voice. Trying to hear above the noise. God I need you now. How many times have you heard me cry out. How many times have you given me the strength to keep breathing". As for Me and My House" by John Waller. We must choose THIS DAY who we will serve. I choose to bow to Christ and only serve the Lord. I'm done with powerless religion and living in deception. I am greatful to God and His grace that will take me back. Holiness by Sonic Flood. Holiness is what I long for and what I need. Take my life. Restore it. Take my heart and form it. Take my mind and transform it. Take my will and conform it to yours Lord. I love you.

Ramblings

It's been a week since my last post, but I would like to continue to try to blog every day. I was going to last night, but then...didn't. Kim and I started the financial peace university class at church. One of the verses we heard during the first lesson was No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11). That's what this blog is all about: the unpleasantness of disciple, but the harvest of righteousness and peace once I am trained in it. Discipline is hard for me, easy for others, but through hard work, my life will be more peaceful. I'm looking forward to starting class in a few weeks. That will be a struggle again, and I will need to work hard to keep my grades where they should be. Shane has told me that there will be some classes that may suffer and I may only get a B in them. The once I sacrifice for I should be able to get an A. I'm shooting for all A's. We'll see how that goes. Eventually, I'd like to pick a topic to blog about and then start blogging. I'm not sure I am learned in enough topics to do that every day, and I don't want the blog to be all about my opinions and views on different matters. Maybe a blog will take a couple of days to do research on. I need to get out of this rut. TV is not important to me anymore and I think I can get away from it. That, again, will be a struggle, but I really need to set a better example for my kids. My parents are frequently on my mind. Not sure why I struggle so much wil talking to them. Do I still harbor anger or a lack of forgiveness? I'm 40. Is that still possible? I really should call to see how they are. Lunch is over. Back to work. Think of topics. Get steeped in the Word. Change the world. Give the glory to God. Mark 9/25/12

Day 3--Three and a half years later

How is that even possible? I started this blog three and a half years ago and then quit after two days? Incredibly ironic since I started it as part of my attempt to be more disciplined. I suppose it was because I was continuing to write in my old blog. Even worse, though, I don't think I am that much more disciplined than I was three and a half years ago. I tried to think of ways to begin to become more disciplined and blogging came to mind. It stings a bit when I hear people say that people "just don't ever change." I disagree. People change all the time through the power of Christ. Unfortunately, I haven't changed much. Let's see. What has happened in three and a half years? Well, Noah was barely two and a half back then. Still a toddler. Colton had just taken his first few drum lessons with Jim. Gabrielle would've been only been seven and without glasses or braces. She's become quite pretty as she gets older. Kim and I have finished the Discovery Series discipleship program and I have finished a few semesters of Bible college. It appears I began an application in early 2010, but would not restart it until 2011 after a bit of a push from my friend Tom. I received a letter recently stating I had been accepted into Moody's Biblical Studies degree program (Sept. 13, 2012 in case I do not write in this blog again for a few years). I had a short coughing fit when I read the first few lines. I'm still kind of negative and thought that the possibility of not being accepted was very real (perhaps it was; I'll never know). I'm going to ramble for this first post in three years. There is lots of stuff that's been on my mind. Most of it is not incredibly important, but I'd like to get it out there and maybe work though it through my writing. I know that I would like to blog for years to come since I like to write and I like to have reminders of what I have learned. I'd also like to keep track of what scripture I have read and if I learned anything. I can be a slow reader. I just finished Matthew after a couple months of starting and restarting. What did I learn? Not sure. I should've taken notes. Mark is next. Even if I read just a few verses, I'd like to log it here, in my online journal.

Still learning--Day 2

This new blog is to be what I'm learning about life and about my faith. What have I learned in the past couple weeks?

People who have been deeply faithful their whole lives sometimes ask religious questions with very simplistic answers. That's a shocker. Really, it is.

Prayer is important. I already knew this, but Jerry and Fran have relayed that info very powerfully.

I'd seen the laying of hands on just one other person. It was quite powerful. It wasn't something I had thought of in a while, though. It was brought up at our Sunday bible study, then in a movie we watched, then in our Friday bible study, then in our Sunday bible study again. My good friend was healed in this manner. I'd like to give this concept some more thought.

God revealed himself to me one night. He let me know He was with me at that moment. He reminded me He had always been there and always will be. He's with me right now, as a matter of fact. I'd invite you over for a chat, but He's with you too. He let me know there were those in pain that night that would be better soon because we had brought our earnest requests to Him. I've learned I will never be able to appropriately explain what happened that night, but many others have been though the same.

People are caring. It almost seemed like our family lived on an island for a while. We've rarely gone out with friends, and, for the most part, make no personal phone calls. One person offered help just today. Another offered his time yesterday. Colton got some personal drumming lessons from Mr. Priest. It was great to watch and Jim reminded us how little talent he had. The rest came from God and he does what he does praise Him. Amen, brother.

Another has offered his services through financial advice. He was off work himself until very recently. His current job is a Christian based not-for-profit financial advising business. We probably have a lot to learn, but he's there for us.

I've wondered if I'll be turned away because I never knew Him. I feel like I have a close relationship with Him, but are my motives pure?

I've learned I need to spend more time with Him.

I've learned I am being used to glorify Him.

Day 1

My life has changed for the better in the last nine months. Not that things were so bad before, but having a personal relationship with Him is life-changing. I try not to wonder what took so long. He has a master plan. That's all I need to know.

On the other hand, I need to know I'm continuing to change. I need to continue to make sure I'm not the same person I was yesterday or the day before, or the month before, etc. I need to learn things and apply them in my life. One of the first things I learned nine months ago is that it's not all about me. It's almost ironic God waited til I was all alone to mention this to me. As I entered the room that night, I read the book that was made up for us and prayed how it requested we pray. Adoration. Confession. Thanksgiving. Supplication. Although most of the praying I had ever done until that night was at church or at infrequent, random times, I felt I needed to pray on my knees. I moved the chair out of the way, and got to my knees. Until then, I had probably mostly prayed for myself or my family. That night, neither me or my family were mentioned until the last few minutes. It was all about others. It was about those with cancer and those with aches and pains. It was those who were having trouble in their marriage and someone concerned about their brother-in-law who had turned away from God. I would like to have known how each of these problems were resolved, but more importantly I knew it was all in His hands. I knew there were so many other people out there with troubles of their own. Not only was that night extremely revealing, it was humbling as well.

One thing I've read about and heard about recently, and that was evident that night, is the power of prayer. Max Lucado writes in a book of his and in a recent e-mail:

John writes: "So Mary and Martha sent someone to tell Jesus, 'Lord, the one you love is sick'" (John 11:3, emphasis mine).

In the economy of heaven, the prayers of saints are a valued commodity. John the apostle would agree. He wrote the story of Lazarus and was careful to show the sequence: The healing began when the request was made.

The phrase the friend of Lazarus used is worth noting. When he told Jesus of the illness, he said, "The one you love is sick." The power of the prayer, in other words, does not depend on the one who makes the prayer but on the one who hears the prayer.

We can and must repeat the phrase in manifold ways. "The one you love is tired, sad, hungry, lonely, fearful, depressed." The words of the prayer vary, but the response never changes. The Savior hears the prayer. He silences heaven so he won't miss a word. The Master heard the request. Jesus stopped whatever he was doing and took note of the man's words. This anonymous courier was heard by God.

John's message is critical. You can talk to God because God listens. Your voice matters in heaven. He takes you very seriously. When you enter his presence, the attendants turn to you to hear your voice. No need to fear that you will be ignored. Even if you stammer or stumble, even if what you have to say impresses no one, it impresses God--and he listens.

Intently. Carefully. The prayers are honored as precious jewels. Purified and empowered, the words rise in a delightful fragrance to our Lord. "The smoke from the incense went up from the angel's hand to God" (Rev. 8:4). Incredible. Your words do not stop until they reach the very throne of God.

One call and heaven's fleet appears. Your prayer on earth activates God's power in heaven.

You are the someone of God's kingdom. Your prayers move God to change the world. You may not understand the mystery of prayer. You don't need to. But this much is clear: Actions in heaven begin when someone prays on earth. What an amazing thought!

When you speak, Jesus hears.

And when Jesus hears, the world is changed.

That really spoke to me when I read that. I hadn't given a whole lot of thought to the idea that "The power of the prayer does not depend on the one who makes the prayer but on the one who hears the prayer." Prayers are very important because He is listening, not because we are taking time to say them. While the latter is important, it is the former that means the most.

I had read this yesterday and later that night we spent time at the Maddock's. They made it evident that prayer was extremely important. Prayer is important at church as well. Each prayer means a lot to Him. With each prayer, He is changing the world.

I will most likely never change the world with my words. I have created this new blog, though, because want to see visible change in myself. I want to, for lack of better word, force myself to dwell on Pastor Don's sermon a while. I want to discuss what I'm reading in the Bible. If I read something by Max Lucado or Beth Moore or Jack Graham or Dr. Charles Stanley or Rick Warren that has some real truth to it, I want to write it down (or type it). If I get good Christian advice from someone, I don't want to forget it.

The positivity blog ran it's course, and I'm sure what I've learned in that one will be evident in this one. This one will run it's course as well. That could be next month or that could be 269 days from now. I pray I continue to learn. I pray I continue to change.